I received my Neighborhood News from the Samish Neighborhood Association today. I'm not a dues-paying member, but hey, they send me the newsletter so I read it.

Bottom-right, page 3 has the following paragraph:

Parking in Residential Yards Now Prohibited

Bellingham has a new ordinance that prohibits parking in residential yards (BMC 11.33.185). To report a possible parking violation, call 911 and ask for parking enforcement.

Get that? The emphasis is mine. Call 9-1-1 to report a “possible parking violation”? That's what my “Emergency Services Levy” is funding? Hold on; I thought if the levy didn't pass that much-needed “emergency services” would be denied. Ambulances would stop running. Fire trucks would be mothballed. Police officers would be restricted to walking beats -- uphill both ways, with five feet of snow. Their only weapons would be sling-shots. Response times to vital emergencies would lag, putting people at risk!

Yet, 9-1-1 is supposed to handle calls about parking? That's a 9-1-1-worthy emergency? This is what my “emergency services” tax levy is paying for? An operator to direct calls that should just go to the police department anyway, but don't because some busybody is too lazy to look at the front inside page of the phone book?

When the 9-1-1 services come a-askin' for more money (and they will) be sure to read the fine print and see how the levy will expand services. I know these folks do good work, but if it is an emergency service, let it be an emergency service. If it is directory assistance, then call it that, and implement it that way. Don't guilt folks into voting for “emergency services” so that oh-so-critical “potential parking violations” can be taken care of with swiftness and efficiency.

Rico's Rule of Thumb: If you think, “should I call 9-1-1?” then you've answered your question. Don't. Open the phone book and call the number for whatever service you think you need. These numbers are typically listed on the inside front cover. You'll know when you need to dial 9-1-1. You won't have to think about it, you'll just know. Trust me.